Must A Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?